Crazy

How to Know you are Deeply Nigerian

Group of People Waving Flag of Nigeria in Back Lit
President Buhari

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One or more of these points must be you, if you are deeply Nigerian

Nigerian President Buhari

1. In your mind, you know that your president is the first president to work in Diaspora. Well, I have to mention here that the president is actually on sick leave and not necessarily working (which, if you really look at it keenly, is the basic idea of this point) and as such, we may safely say he’s just vacationing. Your president is most definitely going to be the first person who goes shopping when his house is on fire! Wehdone sir.

2. You have become subconsciously familiar with instability in government and inconsistencies in the system, generally. At some point, these clogs in the wheel of our progress become so familiar, that they now resemble attachment wheels. We no more see them as vice. If you have gotten to the stage where power outage for more than thirty minutes does not disturb or irritate you, you’re definitely in way deep.

3. You find it incredibly usual to dump refuse indiscriminately. So many of us are now used to dumping refuse ‘anyha’ that when we see someone actually ‘doing it right’ we may label them “holier-than-thou”. If this is you, you’re in too deep.

4. If you’re used to Federal Government controlled Universities with crowded classrooms and poor ventilation options, squalid hostel conditions and newspaper headlines of millions recovered inside abandoned buildings, then, you’re 72 inches deep in the ‘Nigerian’ trenches.

5. And last, but not the least; if you are an aspiring whistle-blower or whistle-blowing apprentice, then, forgerrit! You’re most definitely NIGERIAN! Nigerian Whistle Blower

Learn how to be a professional whistle blower here

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